Emily Colby | Ezri Dax “Star Trek: Deep Space Nine”

“When I was first approached about this initiative, there was an endless list of women in Star Trek that I admire and look up to that first came to mind. Though in my heart I knew exactly who I wanted to draw and write about, and that is Ezri Dax.

Deep Space Nine is my favorite Trek series and up until the final season, Jadzia Dax was another one of my favorite characters, so I was heartbroken by the way she was taken off the show and the real life circumstances behind that decision. But I wanted to give Ezri a fair chance, not unlike the crew aboard DS9, and she turned out to be a character I deeply resonate with. Before her, I never really saw a character behave so similar to me.

Ezri chose to save the Dax symbiont and woke up a completely different person. She has undergone a lifesaving yet traumatic event that has completely changed the way her brain functions, and that’s something I really relate to on a very personal level. In 2014, my dad passed away unexpectedly and the experience was traumatic, to the point it completely changed the way I think and act. “My parents, my friends, my crewmates, it’s like they don’t even know me anymore [...] I hardly even know myself,” is a line Ezri says that really sticks with me, and truly reflects the lingering effects of living through a traumatic experience. It changes you in ways that is hard for others, even yourself, to understand.

I’ve always been fairly scatter-brained, losing my train of thought, or not knowing how to properly word my thoughts, and that was all definitely heightened after losing my dad. Sometimes I have so many different thoughts going on at once it feels like I do have eight people talking at once in my head. Before Ezri, I never really saw that trait in other characters. She struggles with having confidence in her own abilities because of this and it truly shows when she confronts Sisko about leaving the station. He talks to Ezri exactly how she talks to herself, “no one is expecting great things of you,” in order to get through to her, to ground her, and to show how absurd of a thought that is. But that’s what anxiety does, it tricks you into thinking the worst is true and seeing Ezri break through from those thoughts is really inspiring to me because battling with your own mind until it calms down is not an easy thing to do. It’s a huge strength that I admire.

Another trait that Ezri has that really inspires me is her dedication to helping others, and using her experiences to empathize with others. Yes she is scatter-brained, but the main thing that helps her stay grounded is helping others. It’s what she did before Dax, and it’s what she continues to hold onto after the joining.

I look up to a lot of Star Trek characters, mostly because they possess abilities that I wish I was able to harness, but with Ezri Dax I see myself. I see a young woman who is not too sure of herself, but is able to work through her trauma to figure out herself. She is able to make deep connections and friendships even though she doesn’t have the best first impression. With Ezri, I see all of my weaknesses but also how those very “weaknesses” can be my biggest strengths.”

— Emily Colby